“In Flux”
In February 2021 our two high school children had a long weekend off from school so we took a short trip to Arizona to see family and do some skiing. While we were away the Houston area experienced a freeze unlike any in recent history. Temperatures fell below freezing and stayed there for several days in a row. The power grid in Houston could not handle the demand and our friends and neighbors experienced rolling blackouts, some for eight or more hours at a time. People were doing whatever they could to keep warm.
After extending our trip by two days because of canceled flights and a complete airport shutdown, my husband received a call from our next-door neighbor. There was water coming from our front door, out the back door, and our kitchen ceiling had collapsed. A hot water pipe had burst and had turned our home into a sauna and, very soon, a petri dish perfectly suited to grow mold. My husband made some calls and was on the road in a rental car in a matter of hours.
When the kids and I returned to Houston on the tenth day of what was supposed to be just a long weekend trip, we found ourselves, “in flux.” We found ourselves in a hotel room instead of home. We had to completely empty and move out of the house instead of unpacking a weekend bag. And I found myself battling grief, disappointment, sadness, and extreme fatigue. I tried to count blessings, to be grateful, to be at peace and stay positive. My strivings prevented me from falling into the darkness of depression, but did not move me noticeably away from the edge.
Through the 18-month ordeal of taking the entire house completely down to studs, dealing with the insurance company, replacing all the plumbing and electrical wiring, then building a new house, I remained “in flux.” “Flux” became my constant state, not a place to quickly pass through. “Flux” is what I saw every time I drove up to the house we leased, that orange (my least favorite color!) house that was a daily reminder of our debacle. “Flux” greeted me in every corner that was borrowed, temporary, where I lived but was not my home. Abandoned picture hooks in the walls, scuffs on the walls and woodwork, and all the things I did not choose reminded me, swallowed me, with Temporary.
I wish I had handled the whole ordeal better, with grace, patience and joy. With the hope of heaven before me, I should only hope to remain that unsettled here in my temporary earthy home. I should have the same daily longing for a beautiful, heavenly place, built and appointed with lovely things chosen with me in mind. I should have rejoiced in what “flux” could teach me and the opportunity to learn, but I certainly had very little rejoice in me. I should, both then in 2021 and presently, make my peace with “flux,” knowing it is the theme of my earthly pilgrimage.
And I did try to make peace with “flux,” but I would find I needed to remake peace with it again in a matter of days. The peace I made I had to keep making over and over. I see now that the secret to making peace and remaining in peace while also in “flux” is to avert my gaze. I must repeatedly remind myself to lift my eyes and raise my gaze, pointing my eyes and my mind toward heaven.
“You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You. So trust in the Lord (commit yourself to Him, lean on Him, hope confidently in Him) forever; for the Lord God is an everlasting Rock [the Rock of Ages].” Isaiah 26:3-4 (AMP)
Our perfect savior, Christ Jesus, will keep our peace perfect, complete, and permanent. By keeping my eyes steadily on Him, my orange house, the problem and earthly issue of the day, goes out of focus. When I am looking at Him and to Him I am no longer distracted by the discouraging things around me. Christ my King, the peace maker and Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6), is the only unchangeable and permanent fixture in this world of “flux.”
Now, more than three years later, I see areas where I went deeper in my relationship and trust in the Lord. For certain I am more thankful for my home and all the earthly blessings the Lord has provided for me and my family. I am also more reliant on Him, and continue to strive to lean fully on Him and nothing else. I see the Lord clearly as my immovable rock, for Whom there is no substitute or equal (I Sam. 2:2, Ps. 19:14). The everlasting Rock, the Rock of Ages, is both constant and reliable when my world is “in flux.”
These scriptures in the Bible that were penned thousands of years ago have not expired, have not failed, and have not lost relevance. There is peace to be found in the Rock that is both constant and reliable for all who trust in Him. Today is a great day to lift your eyes and your head, and point your eyes and your mind toward heaven. The immovable, everlasting Rock can handle all the weight of your cares, worries, fears, and disappointments. He invites us to lean on Him, to trust in Him, to rest in Him. Go ahead and put all your weight on Him, because He can take it; and receive His perfect and constant peace to replace grief, disappointment, sadness and discouragement. The Lord our God remains immovable. We may be “in flux” but He never is!
